I know that I write a lot of my blog posts based off of songs, but this one was a crazy coincidence. I actually had an idea of what I wanted to write about tonight, so when I powered up Pandora the first song that came on was “Thinkin’ bout you” by Ciara which… well… talks about thinking about someone. Am I thinking about someone, and is the title of this blog post from that song? Yup.
So go ahead and sit tight class, today we’ll be discussing the concept of “I want to be with you but I’m not ready yet” and FUCK I am not ready to talk about this but here we are. Yup you guessed it, I’ve had that happen and I can tell you that it doesn’t feel good to hear. It can be easy to fall into the “what if I’m not good enough?” or “why can’t they change for me?” or even “I just don’t mean enough” and yeah those are all potential thought processes for the giving party. Though that may be true, it’s important to realize that you have ZERO control over how someone else is feeling. If you’ve been seeing that person casually, I’m truly sorry to say that it’s important for you to move on because it comes down to this; if they truly wanted to be with you right now then they would. If they’re not ready then you can’t wait around until they are.
I know, I know. It’s hard to move on from the potential and the whole “what if”, and I know that they give you that look that makes you feel like they can see your fucking soul but that’s whole lot of bullshit if they can’t put their words into action. And oh look, a Destiny’s Child song “Bootylicious” just came on. They may appreciate your BOOTYLICIOUS self, but not enough if they don’t want to do the necessary things to be with you.
The hard part about having emotions, and well being human, means sometimes you have to sacrifice what you want right now with what you know you deserve and what you know will make you happy in the long run. It’s a lot fucking easier to call up the person you’ve been comfortable with than going on a first date. If you’re both looking for a friends with benefits then DO YOU. Honestly, take advantage while it’s happening but be careful because it’s really easy to get carried away and your ahem… active… nights may get to your head. It’s true people, it happened to me. Suddenly you can hardly go a week without texting him and you decline dates because wait, why the fuck am I loyal to someone who isn’t doing the same?
It happens to the best of us, you just have to prepared with where to go from there. Here are your options when you begin to fall for someone who doesn’t want a relationship with you:
You wait. You wait for them to figure out they want you as much as you want them, and you feel fucking miserable while you do it. You also pass up a lot of potential people who may be amazing for you, you’re just too blinded to see them. You also are a fool for spending precious time hoping someone wants you.
Option #2: You don’t cut that person out of your life, but you do date other people. Take the extra moment to smile at the cute guy at the gas station. Start noticing other people, because it can be really easy to commit to someone who isn’t committed to you. Go on that date, and see what else is out there for you without having expectations of what will happen.
Option #3: Cut them out of your life. If they were strictly a fuck buddy or someone you dated for a bit but they don’t want to make the commitment, then snip snip bitch. It’s likely that they went in with the intention to never be with you, and if that changes then they’re bullshitting you and just want their time filled for right now. Get on Tinder, my babe.
*Chugs my beer*… I’m exhausted already.
Option #4: Continue doing what you’re doing while acting like you’re FINE and get hurt. Don’t fucking do that. You’re the only one who will be hurt in the end, and you’ll end up wasting a lot of time with them.
If you haven’t noticed, I tend to think about a lot of things with a “actions matter more than words” mentality, and that’s because I don’t really believe in the whole “we’re great for each other but not right now. Now’s not the time”. Unless there are outside circumstances holding someone back, like a dying family member they’re taking care of and literally don’t have time to spend with you, then they’re making excuses because it’s easier than telling the truth. If someone wants someone, or something, enough then they’ll make it happen.
It hurts to say this, both to you and to myself, but if they’re not ready for you then you have to move on. If you wait around, act like nothing’s going on, or even taint yourself with the whole “what if” mentality, then you will get burned.
I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve been burned many times by people who don’t know what they want so the second you hear that my babes, nod your head, take their actions for what they are, and say goodbye. It’ll pay off for the both of you.
So is it love, or entertainment? You tell me.
-The stupid girl who catches feelings.
fabulouslyalone 