Notice I called you all my friends, because I am pretty confident none of my ex’s visit my blog. Now today I’m sure I’ll get some disapproving looks or really passionate comments on Facebook, but I’m here to convince you why ex’s can’t be friends, and why you should stop taking it seriously when someone says “but we can still be friends, right?”
False. *pours a glass of wine*
Disclosure time- I’m only referring to relationships 6 months or over, and even 6 months seems pretty short. After one of my ex’s told me that we could still hit up car shows together, I realized how silly the notion of being friends with your ex is. No really, think about it. We would wake up bright and early, stop by Coffee Rush, and cruise on over to a car show holding hands over the shift knob. Yeah, that sounds SUPER friendly.
Let me give you some advice- when someone says “let’s just be friends” or “but we can still be friends” and you guys were in a legitimate relationship, that means that they’re just not into you (if they broke up with you), or that they can’t stand not having you in their life at all (if you broke up with them), and if that’s the case than they should have realized that while you were in the relationship. In both cases, it is not worth trying to be friends. Let’s say it was possible, let’s try this out.
We wake up in separate beds, text each other “aye, we still on for the show?” and then decide to grab breakfast first. Maybe in a group of people it’s not so bad but let’s be real. You’re sitting at the table knowing that they’re going to order extra powdered sugar on those pancakes, and for some reason can’t seem to stay focused on the menu you’re trying to study. Now you’re at the car show, and you resist every temptation to grab their hand like you had so many times in the past, and you stop to grab a beer at concessions. Out of habit you order a Hefeweizen for him since you know his favorite drink, and then kick yourself internally because friends don’t order for each other. Now you’re having a good time at the show, probably distracted, and you think to yourself “hey this isn’t so bad!”, and then it’s time to wrap up. Everyone starts going their own way, and say their goodbyes. Do you hug? Do you just nod to each other like you haven’t slept with each other? no. no. no. This is all wrong! Friendship isn’t constantly filtering what you’re doing.
Let me say it again- you’re not supposed to think about each action or each word you say when you’re around a friend in fear of giving them the wrong impression. That is not friendship.
If I still haven’t convinced you, let me ask you one question. Did you remain friends with this person and hang out outside of a group for more than a few months after your relationship ended? I didn’t think so. It’s okay to have someone in your life for years and say goodbye. Not everyone is meant to stay, and not everyone is meant to serve a purpose in your life for eternity. I know that sounds bad, but you learn and you move in and that is totally okay.
I love you friends,
P.S. I only drank one glass of wine throughout this post. Who am I?!