Don’t Be Me

Wow, it’s been quite a while. Quite honestly I don’t have any exciting dates to update you on since I have been pretty much single AF for the last month. As Slug from Atmosphere says, “I’m such a mess with love and sex” and it is totally true for me. I guess I just missed writing and after almost a whole bottle of wine to myself on a Monday I felt the need to find something to say.

Last you guys heard about my therapy (look at me trying to improve myself), I had just started going. Now one of my “goals” is to go on just one date in the next 3 months. Well, it’s already been 1 month and I have gone on all of zero dates. I canceled two dates, caught up with an old friend who then propositioned me for sex even though I thought we were just catching up, and then I had one ex ask me for “cuddles” even though I told him I was not interested in seeing him again. SERIOUSLY. And then there is one guy who I really, REALLY want to get involved with but ya know, I like him too much which means I act nonchalant and refuse to actually give a shit. Even through this, I’ve realized one thing in the past month… I am seriously fucked up. I can’t get it together in my dating life and have no clue when I’ll go on a real date. My hot and married therapist will soon start dragging me to the bar by my hair and be forced to be my wingman. Honestly not mad about this.

I wish I had some inspiration or sassy advice for you about dating, relationships, or even singledom but I’ve honestly got nothing. I am a shit show right now trying to figure out my feelings, and can’t seem to get a handle on even my every day life. I guess the only thing I have is DON’T do what I’m doing right now. Don’t go on dates because you’re bored, or because you want free food (honestly how do people sit with someone for 2 hours making awkward conversation). Additionally, drink lots of wine with your girlfriends. Also spend Sundays in bed with them watching Hulu because I swear it’ll make you feel a little less lonely in life.

At this point it seems like I need some advice on how to move forward after a disgusting break up, and after being consistently disappointed in my own unproductive singledom. Time for you guys to tell me what the hell to do. I’m seeing my hot, married therapist tomorrow so maybe he’ll wrap me up in a neat little bow to fix me (or run screaming). Have a great Monday guys!



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