It’s a Monday, and I’m three glasses of wine in so here we are! Of course, when I’m feeling loose and a little funny I gravitate towards my blog and my readers. I love you guys… Can you tell I’m the lovey drunk? LOL!
So today I’m here to talk about why being out of a toxic relationship is honestly so great. I’ve been listening to a few of my friends who are currently struggling a bit with their relationship, and I must admit… I am not at all envious. As much as I love being single, I honestly enjoy being in a relationship as well but hearing the ones floating around these days is not giving me a whole lot of hope. After being their ear and shoulder, I’ve made a single observation. They stay because they’re scared of having to try again.
Whether it’s their age, or the fact that they’ve been with that person for so long it seems impossible to actually end it. It’s too easy to say “It could get better” and a lot freaking harder to say “I need more than this”. I’ve noticed it in particular with women because we’re raised in a society that says you have to be married by 26 and kids by 28. It’s impossible to ignore these pressures when you’re constantly thinking about how your ovaries are going to shrivel up at any moment and suddenly you’re stuck with yourself for the rest of your life. What a way to live.
Honestly I don’t judge my friends, I feel for them. I find the best words I have to try to convince them that they deserve so much more than some guy who constantly says he needs more time to propose, or a guy who says he’ll do better as soon as he gets a better paying job. But it’s hard, and I get it. I’ve been there. When is the right time to give up without regretting it? At what point do you transition from “we just need to communicate better” to “this is simply not working out”. It’s impossible to know when the best time is, and it’s impossible to know if you’ll regret leaving that person in the long run. Add in external pressures such as “you need to have kids before you have nothing else to live for” and suddenly it feels like the moment you have to dive for the flower bouquet at a wedding in hopes you even catch a fucking petal. By the way, who even came up with that tradition? Can we just take shots instead?
Long story short, witnessing my friends settle for disappointment and a memory of love makes me so sad. I wish they could see themselves in my eyes, and I wish their boyfriend could too. But unfortunately, humans are beings of action rather than reflection. It takes a multitude of someone screwing up rather than deciding to move on. Trust me, I’ve been guilty of this 5/5 times. I’m no better, and I want to clarify that. I love too much, and give too many chances. But at the end of the day, I am not scared at all of being alone and I wish that others felt the same. Let me tell you- it’s a lot easier to be happy alone rather than disappointed and committed.
On to the next glass of wine, and listening to some more Common in this gorgeous sunshine. Enjoy your evening y’all, and to my girls who read this and feel a little ping in their heart… I love you guys, and I just want you to see yourselves the way I see you. Gorgeous, ambitious, strong, whole hearted, and YOU. I love you guys.