Pain VS. Love

I saw a post on Facebook today that said “true love always finds a way to come back”, and I thought a lot about this. Out of curiosity, I looked at the comments on this post and found many reactions. Many people said that if it was true love to begin with than it wouldn’t have left. Others said that they were currently living that time because of the wrong timing in the past making that love to fail, in that moment. Now, what do I think?

I believe that true love does indeed have a way of finding its way back. I believe this due to the fact that after being in love once, and being without that love for 3 years, nothing has really changed about my love for him. In these 3 years, my life has changed in so many ways. I’m more successful in my career, have experienced losing my dad, have fought many health issues on my own, lost and cultivated other strong relationships in my life, and have learned what makes me so great. Even though everything has changed, that feeling of love has not. Maybe that means I’m weak, but I like to think that it means what he and I had was real.

Now does it find a way of coming back? From my experience, yes. I’ve had changes in my own body when he was in pain, even though I didn’t know it. I would go weeks without thinking about him, and suddenly feel a pain in my chest and then come to find out he was going through a difficult time in his life. If that feeling of love roots itself in to my being, than of course it would find a way to return eventually. The next question to ask is, is it worth it?

Let’s say he did somehow return to my life, would the pain I felt be worth the love I feel? I think this would be different for every single person. For myself, I have always been one that bathes in my own vulnerability which makes me weaker in some ways, and stronger in others. I think for others they simply wouldn’t allow themselves to dabble with the idea. It’s embarrassing to open yourself up to hurt again, and of course it’s risky. If you hurt once, you’ll hurt again.

So is it worth it? If i’m honest, I don’t think that I will ever have the answer to this question. I don’t know if the pain would be worth the love, but what I do know is that it’s more than that. It’s not as simple as pain vs. love. In my case I did indeed experience pain and love, though I also experienced what it’s like to be challenged. I experienced pure happiness in just smiling at him, and felt what it was like to be 100% in sync with someone. So for me, when I think about if he were to walk in to my life again it’s difficult for me to simply look at “is he going to hurt me again?”. I think to myself “If I were to walk away, would I live with myself knowing it was my choice to drop love?” I don’t think I would.

Here’s to love.

-Gabby… A.K.A the girl who’s still obsessed with love.

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