Daniel and I are currently in the honeymoon stage, and having both had serious relationships in the past we’re both stretching out this stage as long as we can. The problem? We’re also really good at doing the married shit.
We definitely have most aspects of the honeymoon stage down. We are actually professionals, and could teach a course on how to be absolutely adorable. We are that couple that has disgustingly cute secret looks we share, photos of us kissing, long phone calls when we’re away from each other, and of course the Facebook Official status. No seriously, just look at us-
Now that you see what I mean, let me explain why I said we’re good at the whole “marriage” part of a relationship. Two weeks into our relationship he came over to my moms to help her cut down a tree and chop wood. This weekend we’re planning on hanging out at his new house, and hanging up drapes. Like, what?
Though it may not typically be a part of the honeymoon stage, I actually find solace in it. It’s relieving to me because when I’m in the honeymoon stage, I overthink every single part of my relationship. I mentioned in my last post that I am completely genuine with him, which I am, but I also hide many of my fears. One example is that I was worried about asking him if he wanted to be Facebook official even though we had both made it pretty clear to each other that we were exclusive. I was worried that he was worried about what his friends or family would think. Shit, I was worried about what they would think of me. Would I be as pretty as his exes? Would they see my age and assume I was too young and immature for him? Just a few reasons why I didn’t even bother asking.
Anyways, last night a pretty incredible thing happened. Daniel and I were on the phone and he brought the whole Facebook official thing up himself. He asked me if I was ready, and expressed that he was worried that I would be freaked out by our pace. I guess he has gotten to know me pretty well, huh? I giggled, wiped imaginary sweat off of my forehead and said “baby, I’m all in”.
Now, writing this post I feel very silly. What a problem for a millennial, am I right? As silly as it is, these are real things that millennials are concerned about! We are surrounded by the vision of other happy couples on Facebook (currently me and my boo), and feel the need to live up to those same expectations! The problems are not real, though they are there at the forefront of our minds. These are problems that typically arise in the honeymoon stage, and they are problems I don’t really don’t know how to face.
The marriage shit though? I have that down! Do we fight over who took the garbage out last? No, but at least if we did I would know how to handle it… *cue the Gabby glare and eyebrow raise* It’s in the longer relationship and the actual problems where I feel I shine most. I am good at listening to my SO’s problems, and hoping to offer valuable advice. I’m better at choosing drapes than I am at meeting family and planning busy weekends full of adventures. I’m better at those things because I did them all before, and honestly I don’t really remember how to simply fall. I only remember the dread I felt after falling.
In the midst of all of these realizations, I am recognizing one thing. The honeymoon stage may be a bit more difficult for me, but it’s just another opportunity for me to grow. In this stage with Daniel, I’ve learned trust. When he doesn’t answer my texts right away or text me as soon as he’s off work I don’t automatically jump to conclusions like I used to. In fact, I just put my phone down and busy myself with my own responsibilities. This stage of our relationship when we only see each other on weekends gives me the ability to continue cultivating friendships, my own lifestyle, and makin’ dat money of course.
So, moral of the story… Whether we stay in the honeymoon stage or practice dipping our toes in the marriage style of relationships, baby I am all in.