Destructive or Supportive?

I officially have an office for blogging, writing, and work/school and I am absolutely ecstatic. It’s kind of actually dorky how excited I am. I’ve always dreamed of having a separate room in my home for an office, and now that it’s finally come I am not disappointed. Except I’m too short for my chair so I look like a drunk dwarf trying to drive while leaning forward to type. I’ll deal I guess, as long as I have wine. Because I know you’re all super interested, here are some pictures!

And yes, that’s my cat with resting bitch face and she gets it from her mama #noshame. I’m writing this in a bit of a hurry while I wait for Yarden, my best friend and old roommate, to show up so we can finish getting ready and head out for some line dancing.  I know, what the fuck are we thinking? I figure as long as I have a few Kamikaze’s then I’ll be fully prepared to make a complete fool of myself. I may even be bad and have an AMF because ya know, Friday night. Anyways, I had a thought today and I’ve sat on it for a while but I figured I would try and bust it out.

Why do people hate being single? I’ve personally had such a difficult time letting go of my single life while dating, and I’m trying to figure out how to balance it all in a healthy way. Is it too much to ask for a healthy social life with my girls, my alone time, AND time with my man? It may be but I was never good at hearing that something was impossible. So here I am, trying to shove some circles into squares but I  am certain that all it takes is a bit of strategic thinking, and determination.

So why do people hate being single? Why do we always have to label ourselves as “in a relationship” or “single” and then allow those few words to control our lives? It always seems that people in their 20’s who are not married with kids are either drinking themselves into an oblivion (I may fit into this category, but I’ll never tell) or spending every passing minute planning an unrealistic life with the “love of their life” who won’t put a ring on it. It is so silly to me that there never seems to be any in between. Every single fiber of my being wants to rip this ideology to shreds and just make new rules. I want to have someone in my life to love, and then I want to have days by myself or with my girls where I just party and bullshit. Maybe I have the “dude mentality” but I am so passionate about balancing life, and every single part of it, that I want to scream this out to the world. Ladies, STOP shaping your life around a man’s. Gentlemen, STOP being silent while your girlfriend controls your life.

I may get some real shit for this, but fuck it. I’m tired of hearing guys say girls are crazy simply because they don’t have the balls to stand up and say “no, i’m not okay with you telling me not to go out with my guys” and I’m so tired of girls bitching that “he made this decision instead of asking me even though he knew I would hate it”. Shit, maybe I’ve been single for too long and forgot what it’s like but aren’t we all completely independent human beings who all have the ability to consciously think for ourselves and make decisions? I totally understand consulting one another when you’ve both made the decision to share a life, but isn’t a relationship and creating a life together all based on trust? You should trust your man when he goes out with his friends, and if you don’t then he’s the wrong one for you. You should trust your girl when she thinks that a certain decision is better than another, and if you don’t then she’s the wrong one for you. Instead of controlling each other, we should be supporting each other. I want to hear more stories about couples who motivate and bring each other up instead of just criticizing one another.

Wow, rant over. I am exhausted, a little pissed off now thinking about it all, and definitely late. Time to go throw some makeup on and head out the door. I’d love to hear your guys’ opinion about this. What do you think, are typical relationships healthy these days, or are they destructive? Holla at ya girl!

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