How To Love

You may or may not have noticed that I’ve been a little quiet on my blog, and I promise it’s for good reason. As you all know I was on a few dating sites while blogging so that I could generate something to write about that was entertaining, and perhaps educational. I had deleted all of my accounts except POF, and I can’t explain why. POF had just as many douchebags as any other site, but for some reason I hesitated and I can’t explain why. I checked it daily, read my messages, but rarely responded. And then, one day, I messaged a guy first for the first time ever and I don’t know why he stuck out to me so much but I just did it without any hesitation.

Well I’ve been recently seeing that person and it’s why I’ve been quiet on my blog. What do you write about on a singles blog when you don’t really feel 100% single? I still don’t really have the answer to that question but today I just really missed my blog and readers so I said fuck it, and went for it. The main reason I’m here is to talk about why you should be with someone, or what to look for. Being in the phase of dating someone and watching it escalate, but not really knowing if you’ll end up in a relationship with this person leaves a lot of questions in your head. The obvious “are they seeing other people?” and “do I see a future with this person” are totally normal and common as hell so don’t fret my friends, I got ya.

“Are they seeing other people?” the most asked question in the awkward in-between phase, and truly the easiest question to find the answer to. Just ask the person! If you puss out and don’t ask, it’s fine. Just know that you can’t expect someone to be monogamous to you unless you’ve set those boundaries and asked those questions.

Now do you see a future with this person? This is a tough one. I’ve recently seen a lot of literal shit on Facebook about how to know if you should be with someone. I follow a page called “Word Porn” that I love since it’s filled with some amazing quotes, but then there’s a few questionable things that pop up that make me think a 15 year old horn dog runs the page. The one I found was something along the lines of “fall in love with someone who kisses your forehead and holds your hand”… and a whole lot of other meaningless shit. Don’t do that. Don’t fall in love with someone who holds your hand, and plays with your hair. Don’t fall in love with someone who gives you butterflies, and who makes you horny. Don’t fall in love with someone just because you’re lonely and need someone to hold at night. Don’t fall in love with someone who gives you happiness in a single moment.

Fall in love with someone who cultivates your growth, and believes in you. Fall in love with someone who says “you’re the strongest person I know” instead of “I love the way you smell”. Don’t fall in love with someone who knows how to dish out compliments, instead of showing you how he feels. Fall in love with someone who sees your stress, and does what he can in his power to help you through it instead of take it away from you. Fall in love with someone who can show their vulnerability to you, and lean on you. Fall in love with someone who makes you want to be better, and fall in love with someone who you feel completely comfortable with. Fall in love with someone who speaks to you through his eyes, not his mouth. Fall in love with someone who understands the importance of actions over words.

Here’s the trick to accomplishing this- don’t force it. Recognize lust over love, and you’ll be fine. At the same time, take risks whole heartedly, and don’t regret a single moment. It’s okay to fall in love with the wrong person, and it’s okay to fall in lust with the wrong person; just make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons. Have a great week everyone!

 

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