Even if I haven’t been gone long, I missed the hell out of you guys! Thank you so much for being patient with me through this hectic time in my life.
I had such a desire to write this evening, and it simply could not be ignored. I kept telling myself that “this isn’t the best time to write about dating. You just lost your father…” but even through everything I have been dealing with, the rest of my life didn’t stop with me. So tonight, here I am. I’m coming down from being day drunk (the girls and I went to a wine festival and indulged in wine, cute men, and tons of laughs), and decided to lay in bed and bust this out or else I knew I would toss and turn all night with potential blog posts running through my mind.
Before I said my temporary goodbyes, I was seeing this guy who I actually thought I would end up with. We met for coffee for our first date and talked for hours without having to try, and he was a lot like me. He was a Gemini like me, into cars, had brown hair and blonde eyes, and knew how to laugh. He was just my type, and I was so excited. We got pretty close, and were dating for about a month before we broke it off. Now he sounds so great right, so why did we break it off?
Well, let me kiss and tell my friends. Literally. So when we first started seeing each other, we had kissed but they were all very innocent pecks and it was because he was a guy who liked to move slow (contrary to my desires). He insisted on courting me, and I was totally fan-girling over that because that had never really happened to me. Well we finally got down to business with the kissing, we both came to realize that we had absolutely no chemistry. The kiss was so bad, it was like one from the movies when two people try to kiss but somehow bump noses, laugh in the middle of it, or snort or something. It was THAT bad. After we fumbled over each other for a few minutes we pulled away and we both just awkwardly chuckled. You guys, I’m not joking. If you’re wondering how to ruin the mood, try chuckling after kissing. He left my house, and we have not spoke since. We went from “good morning beautiful” and “I can’t wait to see you” to absolute silence. It was bliss.
As immature as it may sound, the fact that we could both recognize how awful it was without having to talk about it and keep trying was absolutely wonderful to me. It was a relief. I was so tired of having to tell guys “we just don’t have the chemistry”, and having them constantly question it. As if it’s something I can explain…
Anyways, I was disappointed, but overall happy. He raised only green flags throughout the time I knew him, and I could feel myself beginning to develop feelings for him which is something that’s very difficult for me to do so that’s why I was disappointed. Besides that though, I was so happy that he showed me that there are still good men out there. We have a chance! Can you believe it?! It also made me realize how unwilling I am to settle. Some of my friends would ask “well maybe you could try again?” and I thought about it for about a split second before realizing “I’ve already discovered the answer. I don’t even need to give it another go”. If we were not even able to kiss, I knew the sex would be bad, and let’s be real… If the sex is bad, so is everything else. I don’t care if you’re a freaking saint. We all know that if he isn’t doing it for you babe, the flowers and romantic dinners don’t mean an absolute thing. This may be why we’re stuck in this odd stigma that people only crave temporary satisfaction which results in sex, but in my opinion it’s all about balance.
I’ve had the long relationship with great sex, and crappy everything else. I’ve also tried the great relationship with crappy sex. They. *clap* Don’t. *clap* Work. *clap*
Perfection is not attainable, though neither is justifying every single shitty action just because you want it to work. The universe has funny ways of working, and you can tell yourself endlessly that it’s worth it because you love them, but it never seems to work that way. As much as I agree with putting in the work, I also believe in destiny. Me and Mr. Perfect both thought “we finally found each other. This is why it didn’t work out with anyone else” until that kiss. It’s actually fucking hilarious if you think about it.
A kiss can tell all. Listen to your body folks, it is the one that holds all of the intuition and sixth sense. No matter how hard you try, you can’t force it so just let the cards unfold themselves and if you don’t end up with Mr. Perfect, don’t be disappointed. That just means he wasn’t your Mr. Perfect. Don’t settle my loves, your time is coming. Just like mine is.
Man, I feel so much better after writing this. I want to hear all about your miserable kisses or instances when you just KNEW it wouldn’t work with someone. Comment, and tell me all about it! Have the best night you guys, I’ll be seeing you soon.