Today’s blog post is going to be very different, and it’s because I went on a date with a guy last night, and he actually surprised the hell out of me. In a great way! I’m left today with a lot of doubts about if he was real, and why he is single (because god forbid there is a gorgeous Gemini who drives a nice car, has a good job, is fit, a gentleman, and actually likes me). Today I can’t stop thinking about how he’s too good to be true, and I can’t help but start to doubt if I’m good enough for him; he’s more than fit me, he makes more money than I do, he has a nicer place than I do, he’s older than I am, his car is faster than mine, and so on and so forth. My thoughts are like a rash that won’t go away and the more I itch, the more it spreads.
Reminding myself of my worth on days like today is so important because when I begin developing feelings for a person I tend to forget my own worth and focus on theirs. It’s very odd, but suddenly I become more introverted, less sassy, my Command quiets, and I think it’s because I’m being much more observant. I’m watching the way his eyes light up when he talks about a certain subject and I file that away for safe keeping until I need it again. And then I watch the way he leans forward when we begin talking about our pasts, and file away the little note that he’s interested in learning the “why” behind things. And then I really torture myself and begin to simply hear every single word he uses, and over analyze why he used those words specifically. I obsess with remembering because I want to know this person so deeply so I end up burying my own qualities that I know are part of what attract them to me. Not healthy.
So today, I am sharing my Personal Mission Statement. A few months ago I took a Leadership Development Program through my work that focused on developing our own selves first, before we can develop others. We spent months focusing on authenticity, personal values, and goals so that we could accurately express who we want to be through the mission statement. It means a whole lot to me, and on days when I forget my worth and mission I know I can read this and be grounded again. If you don’t have one, I seriously advise you to do some soul searching and then sit down and bust one out. Here’s mine (and yes it’s VERY personal)-
My Personal Mission Statement
I will never lose sight of who I am, and will always remind myself of how I got here. I will never give anyone the opportunity to take my identity away, and I will stand with pride next to what I believe in.
It’s important to take risks, even when there is no guarantee. Happiness and love drive me to jump into uncertainty without hesitation nor regrets. I will always be proud of myself, and the choices I’ve made.
I must embrace heart break, for that is the consequence of passion, and authenticity. I will always be brutally honest with myself in order to grow, and become the best I can be.
Family is the core of my being. I will always be there to hug my grandma, cheer on my mother, encourage my father, and love my brother.
I must remember my Romanian roots, and carry on the traditions for my family. We will never be forgotten.
Do what sets your soul on fire, and drink in the sun every single day. Do not get caught up in your own routine, and live freely. Venture outside of your comfort zone, I promise it’s not so bad.
Be bold, passionate, and authentic. Be honest, loving, and open. Be you.
You are the girl with fire in her eyes.