I saw this post on Facebook the other day that made me laugh so hard, but actually got me thinking a little bit deeper about it. It said “When people try to come back into my life after doing me wrong… Sorry I can’t cause I already told my mom what you did” and it’s so true because I tell my mom everything, and though my mom has learned my stubborn ways, she still attempts to protect me which I love her deeply for. But at the same time, the protectiveness (not just from my mom, but all of my friends and family) makes me question letting someone back into my life although it should be a decision I make on my own. Suddenly instead of just thinking about the mistakes this person may have done in the past, I have to also think about the judgement passed on from loved ones, and friends. This recently happened to me, and has made me realize why it’s almost better just to keep my mouth shut at times.
When an ex of mine tried to reenter my life, I had a million thoughts cross my mind. Was he being genuine when he apologized, and promised to never hurt me again? Was our love strong enough to get past all of the issues we had in the past? Could we be just friends? Was this good for my future, and was I making the right decision? What the hell am I supposed to do? These questions are hard enough to ask and answer, and being asked additional questions like “what are you going to tell everyone?” and “how many chances are you going to give him before your realize he is a POS?” makes it nearly impossible to make a well thought out decision that is truly best for YOU, when you’re thinking about everyone else. I ended up making my own independent decision, and ignored the “he won’t change”, and “you’re going to get hurt again” and it turns out they were right. I will admit that, but let’s be real, hearing those things really is not helpful. If anything it just rubs me the wrong way, and makes me want to act out irrationally just because I hate being told what to do. I know, it’s not very mature but I have always been stubborn and ya know what? It’s my decision, my mistake, my life, so let me live it.
Now, trying to date with these same questions and judgement from loved ones is just as hard. I’m sensitive when it comes to my dating life because honestly I don’t know what I’m doing. It feels like I’m trying to write with my left hand, and I suddenly feel like an under nourished 4 year old who has never seen a pen. The struggle is real, and if I have a bad date I tend to just engulf myself in books and friends for another few months before I feel ready again. It takes a lot of knowing yourself, and your own habits to realize that’s not a healthy lifestyle. If I’m a stubborn pain in the ass than that should extend to my dating life without being phased by one stranger being an inconsiderate dick, or my loved ones being concerned about my actions.
I also know I tend to be passive aggressive with those that I truly love, and mean the world to me. Again, another unhealthy tendency that I’ve learned needs to stop. I have begun to tell people exactly how they make me feel, and if it’s not taken with a grain of salt, or I get some sort of pushback, then I step back from the situation so I can attempt to see it from both perspectives. This blog has honestly helped me do that, but again it takes a lot of freaking dedication to tell yourself “you may be wrong, and you may also be right and worth a lot more than that. You must let time reveal that to you.”
Can you tell I talk to myself a lot? *shifty*
Whether you are more of the hit it and quit it type, or the fall in love with every single person type, don’t let other people shit on your day. If you truly can be honest with yourself, and you know for certain that this is the life you want to live, then do it and raise your glasses to those that don’t like it. I’ve been told so many times by my family that they’ve learned to just “let Gabby do what she wants”, and as many mistakes as I’ve made that my family attempted to save me from, it still makes me smile so big because that’s exactly what I want. Let me make my mistakes, let me celebrate my own successes, and let me give my all to someone or something that may not be worth it because that is the risk of being passionate and authentic. Being completely true and authentic to yourself should always come first, and should most definitely come above offending others, feeling like you need to answer their inquisitive gossip, or satisfying others’ expectations. I know I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again; Do you boo boo, do you. *cheers*
**** Exciting news! I know I only recently started up this blog and it’s still getting it’s feet off the ground, but I am so excited to announce that you will see a guest blogger on Fabulously Alone next week while I’m in Las Vegas! A wonderful human, Tarah, will be blessing you all with her horror stories of dating. I promise you’ll love her! She’s absolutely hilarious, amazingly sarcastic, and can speak for so many woman out there. I am so excited to have her, and I know you’ll welcome her with open arms! Welcome Tarah, and we can’t wait to hear all about your past dating life. I’m stocking up on wine and popcorn just to prepare!