Wyd? Not you, buddy.

You may be asking yourself, why did Gabby decide to happily accept her singledom, and cherish it? Well, it wasn’t an over night decision I can tell you that for damn sure. It was an accumulation of dates that somehow always beat my VERY low expectations, and a lot of wine nights with my girls. By wine nights with my girls I mean days where I chain smoked, drank a whole bottle of wine to myself, and called all of my girlfriends (and my mom) to bitch.

It’s amazing that the simplest of expectations such as wanting to be with someone who can spell simple words such as “what” instead of “wut” was a game changer.  Where did all of the good guys go, and who replaced them with these DB’s that send out dick pictures like it’s candy on Halloween?! Although I was bombarded with these realizations after being newly single, I still had hope. I tried out Tinder, and Plenty of Fish and royally hated it. With a passion.

One guy that I was pretty interested in that I met on Tinder was someone who was blatantly honest, and one of those manly man types (just my type). We never actually  met in person because the only time he was available was after 10 pm on weekdays, I kid you not. Well unfortunately I’m an adult and he had a very hard time understanding that I start work every morning at 5:30 am, and I wasn’t willing to give up that much valuable sleep. I got text messages like “come on, just live a little” and “you won’t give up a few hours for me?!”. Those alone were huge red flags to me. Cool your jets bro. After that happened about 3 times I finally decided to file him away in my fuck boy cabinet. Good bye, sexy and unemployed child.

Then something kind of magical happened, and I met this guy in person (can you believe it?!), and he asked a friend of mine for my number. I was ecstatic and I finally thought that it’s possible to meet people without using social media. It helped that he was charming, and had blue eyes (again, just my type). Long story short, we went on a few dates and you guys, he did it. He tricked the hell out of me, even though I was certain that he was a good guy. This man who was old fashioned, very cute, and was oddly observant of my reactions to certain situations was a total fuck boy. He got me! He was good, totally blended in with the herd of sheep.

I officially filed him away in my fuck boy file after he finally got me in bed and then never texted me again. The comical part? He thought he was absolute hot shit in bed when he was the worst. sex. ever. Either way, it was a lesson learned.

I learned that I wasn’t ready to date if that meant having to do it online, and being okay with the idea of mediocrity and immaturity. I’d much rather be single, though the difficult part was learning how to be truly happy as a single woman in today’s day and age. That is a story for another day, but I figured some background information may help you understand why I decided to be who I am today. Happily, and fabulously alone.

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